Pentecost 5

Reformation, Media

Larry V. Smoose

From our first lesson, we hear these words:  “Now if you obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession out of all the peoples.  Indeed, the whole earth is mine, but you shall be for me a priestly kingdom, a holy nation.”

I wonder if it was easier for our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents to appreciate these words of scripture?  While the words are describing the experience of Israel in the wilderness of Sinai, shortly after their escape from slavery in Egypt, they were actually written a couple of hundred years later, when the descendants of those original slaves were firmly settled in the promised land.  It might have been difficult for the descendents of those wilderness travelers to fully appreciate these words.  Not because they did not believe they were a treasured possession, greatly blessed by God – but because they had not personally experienced the difference between the former life in Egypt, the hardships of the wilderness, and the comforts of life in this promised land. 

I wonder if it was easier for our parents and grandparents and great-grandparents to appreciate these words of scripture – those who, like my mother’s parents came as children from Scotland, hard-scrabble people who would take whatever job was available to make ends meet.  I remember my mother talking about how her father would take a shovel to collect the horse manure dropped on the road in those horse and buggy days of Pittsburgh, to help fertilize the home garden that would help to feed their children.  Perhaps they had a greater appreciation for the wondrous grace of God that had enabled them to come to this new land with all of the hope and promise it offered – even if hard work and personal sacrifice was the price to help create a future for their children.  “the whole earth is mine, . . . but you shall be for me a holy nation.”  And indeed, the privilege of being so blessed by God to be here, so blessed by God to enjoy the freedom and opportunity was not lost on them – God was central in their lives – worship, prayer, helping others, teaching their children these strong values of faith were so important to them.  It’s like these words from Proverbs:

Listen, my children, to a father's instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding.
² I give you sound learning,
so do not forsake my teaching.
³ When I was a boy in my father's house,
still tender, and an only child of my mother,
⁴ he taught me and said,
"Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live.
⁵ Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or swerve from them. 

(The Wisdom of God’s Word is our most cherished possession)

²⁰ My child, pay attention to what I say;
listen closely to my words.
²¹ Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;
²² for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man's whole body.
²³ Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
²⁴ Put away perversity from your mouth;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
²⁵ Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.
²⁶ Make level paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.
²⁷ Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil. 

(The wisdom of God’s Word helps you choose the right path in your life journey, to have the right values for your well-being)

So I wonder if, in the great prosperity of our country, if in the significant gap, for most of  us between ancestors arriving here and our present life, have made it difficult to fully appreciate and honor the blessings God has given us and the wisdom to continue to pass God’s Word and God’s Ways on to our children. 

On this Father’s Day, I thought I might talk about how we teach our children, - both as parents and as adults in the lives of children, so that the wisdom of Proverbs might be ingrained on our hearts and passed to their future. 

FIRST, AS PARENTS AND AS ADULTS, WE ARE  ROLE MODELS 24 HOURS A DAY.

Parents communicate values by what they say, what they praise, what they condemn, what they ignore, but even more powerfully by the way they live. Our children listen to our every word, watch our every deed, and draw their own conclusions.  How we react to movies and TV shows, which ones we watch, the language we use, how we respond to jokes at a party, reaction to news stories over dinner, all these and more become our classroom.

What the cute story I read in one of the emails forwarded to me, about father who picked up his four-year- old son from day care and then, on the way home and in a big hurry was driving too fast, and muttered under his breath when he saw the policeman's blue light flashing behind him.

He pulled her over and the officer asked to see his license. There was silence while he reached for his wallet and the license. Suddenly her son's little voice was heard from the backseat saying, "Daddy, he doesn't look like a turkey to me." Our children hear everything we say. We are role models for them constantly.  And not only parents, but other adults around children.

If you mutter racial slurs as you listen to the evening news, your child will form conclusions about people of other races.

If your child hears you use God's name carelessly or profanely, the child will absorb it and repeat it and mold an opinion both about God and your relationship with God.

None of us is perfect. We sometimes show our worst sides before our children. How important it is at such times to acknowledge our failings honestly and ask forgiveness, and try to do better, keeping those words of Proverbs in our minds:

Put away perversity from your mouth;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
²⁵ Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.
²⁶ Make level paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.
²⁷ Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil. 

A SECOND TRUTH FOR PARENTS IS THIS: NOTHING CAN SUBSTITUTE FOR YOUR PRESENCE.

Many parents rationalize by saying, "I don't spend much times with my kids, but what we have is quality time."
When I was in Newtown, it was not unusual for me to have meetings, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings.  Saturday was supposed to be my day off, and was, unless there was a wedding or funeral or confirmation retreat or synod workshop – well, you get the idea.  I was convinced that the meetings and events were important in my work – and they were.   But when I came to Reformation, Matthew was still in Newtown most of the time and I just decided that Thursday night was Matthew’s night – no meetings.  And suddenly, I was able to keep that evening free – and people understood and respected that decision.

How often is our schedule more for our sake and our desires than it is purely unavoidable conflicts?  That’s a balance all of us have to work at, but no one else can replace a father or a mother – and if you don’t recognize how quickly they grow up in the early years, I can guarantee you will understand it later – when it is too late.  The early years are the most formative and critical.  “Listen, my children, to a father's instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding. ² I give you sound learning,”  -- They are paying attention – to our priorities, our attitudes, and our actions.  Love requires time and dedicated attention.

FINALLY, A THIRD TRUTH ABOUT PARENTING: NO ONE CAN LEAD A CHILD TO GOD AS WELL AS A PARENT

If the parents fail, chances are small that the church or a grandparent or a friend can make up that deficit.

Children are so bright. If they sense that the Bible is not a vitally important book in your life, chances are that it won't be in theirs. If they seldom see you pray, except a perfunctory prayer at meal-time, they will not take prayer seriously. If children sense that Sunday worship is a grim duty rather than a treasured privilege, they will stop attending as soon as they get a chance.   I have said it before – we treat sports as our religion.  We attend several times a week, several hours at a time, we play catch with our child, we kick a soccer ball with them, we encourage their excellence, but when it comes to church and developing a relationship with God, we are lucky if they are here half the time, we want fewer years of confirmation, less time with Bible School, we can’t sing in the children’s choir because of other more important activities, and we wonder why our children aren’t coming back to church!

We have been blessed by God to be in this country, to have so much wealth that we can afford soccer and dance lessons and piano and baseball and traveling teams and uniforms, and musical instruments and vacations and weekends at the shore or the mountains.  And in the midst of it all we find ourselves forgetting the one who has so blessed us.  “The whole earth is mine,” God says, but you are special – you are a holy nation – Your attitude toward me, your faithfulness to my ways will become your witness to the world. 

²⁰ My child, pay attention to what I say;
listen closely to my words.
²¹ Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;
²² for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man's whole body.

Parents, our primary mission is not to win a rat race, but to faithfully care for those persons entrusted to us, especially our children.  By our example and words, by our priorities and values we teach them.  I believe our forebears realized that God loves us as much as we love our children, and we could trust God to guide us properly in life.  My hope is that we re-establish that priority in our lives and discover the blessing of that teaching from Wisdom as our children mature.